Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
