My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize