If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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