Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
