There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
