don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize