dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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