when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
