it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
