We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
