he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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