I'm really into asian looking animals
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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