Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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