We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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