I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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