And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
