Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
