I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
