Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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