I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
