Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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