did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
