I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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