since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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