Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
