I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize