Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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