My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
