New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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