We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
