Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
