He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
