you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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