I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
