Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
