If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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