Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
