are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
