Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
