He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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