we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
