WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My cat gives me a boner
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize