census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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