Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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