you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize