How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wear drunk well.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
