Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
