This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
