fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you win again, gameday.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
