She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
