he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still have a little drunk in my system
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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