Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize