therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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