DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
