You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
